Umm Sulaim (رضى الله عنها)

Assalamu alaikum, below are all of my notes from Lesson 173 from the Book of Funerals. Hadeeth 659-661 were covered in this lesson which was delivered on Friday 16th November 2007.

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باب: ما يُنْهى مِنَ الحَلْقِ عِنْدَ المُصيبَة

CHAPTER 20. Shaving the head on the falling of a calamity is forbidden.

659. عَنْ أَبِي مُوسى رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ: وَجِعَ وَجَعًا, فَغُشِيَ عَلَيْهِ, وَرَأْسُهُ فِي حَجْرِ امْرَأَةٍ مِنْ أَهْلِهِ فبكت, فَلَمْ يَسْتَطِعْ أَنْ يَرُدّ عَلَيْهَا شَيْئًا, فَلَمّا أَفَاقَ قَالَ: أَنَا بَرِيءٌ مِمّنْ بَرِىءَ مِنْهُ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم, إِنّ رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم بَرِىءَ مِنَ الصّالِقَةِ, وَالحَالِقَةِ, والشّاقّةِ. رواه البخاري: 1296

659. Narrated Abu Musa رضى الله عنه that he got seriously ill, fainted, and could not reply to his wife while he was lying with his head in her lap. When he came to his senses, he said, I am innocent of those, of whom Allâh’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم was innocent. Allâh’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم is innocent of the woman who cries aloud (or slaps her face) and who shaves her head and who tears off her clothes (on the falling of a calamity). (2:383(B)O.B)

Hadeeth 659 - In this hadeeth, the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) discusses three actions that a woman did in ignorance when mourning a bereavement; wailing/slapping her face, shaving her head and ripping off clothes. This hadeeth is specifically about bereavement but Imam Bukhari (رحمة الله عليه) generalises with the chapter heading i.e. when a calamity befalls a person because these actions are haraam for all occasions of sadness.

باب: مَنْ جَلَسَ عِنْدَ المُصِيبَةِ يُعرَفُ فِيهِ الحُزْن

CHAPTER 21. Whoever sat down and looked sad when afflicted with a calamity.

660. عَنْ عائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا, قَالَتْ: لَمّا جَاءَ النّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَتْلُ ابْنِ حارِثَةَ وَجَعْفَرٍ وَابْنِ رَوَاحَةَ, جَلَسَ يُعْرَفُ فِيهِ الحُزْنُ, وَأَنَا أَنْظُرُ مِنْ صَائِرِ الْبابِ شَقّ الْبابِ فَأَتَاهُ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ: إِنّ نِسَاءَ جَعْفَرٍ, وَذَكَرَ بُكاءَهُنّ, فَأَمَرَهُ أَنْ يَنْهَاهُنّ, فَذَهَبَ, ثُمّ أَتَاهُ الثّانِيَةَ: فأَخبره أَنّهنّ لَمْ يُطِعْنَهُ, فَقَالَ: (انْهَهُنّ). فَأَتَاهُ الثّالِثَةَ, قَالَ: وَاللهِ غَلَبْنَنَا يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ. فَزَعَمَتْ أَنّهُ قَالَ: (فَاحْثُ في أَفْوَاهِهِنّ التّرَابَ). رواه البخاري: 1299

660. Narrated A’isha رضى الله عنها : When the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم got the news of the death of Ibn Hâritha, Ja’far and Ibn Rawâha he sat down and looked sad and I was looking at him through the chink of the door. A man came and told him about the crying of the women of Ja’far. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم ordered him to forbid them. The man went and came back saying that he had told them but they did not listen to him. The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, Forbid them. So again he went and came back for the third time and said, O Allâh’s Messenger! By Allâh, they did not listen to us at all. (A’isha) added, Allâh’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم ordered him to go and put dust in their mouths. (2:386O.B.)

Hadeeth 660 – the Battle of Mu’tah which is referred to in this hadeeth was discussed in the commentary of Hadeeth 639 in Lesson 165 (see my previous post about this battle - http://bukhariblog.blogspot.com/2007/10/battle-of-mutah.html and also the audio lesson at http://alkawthar.podbean.com/2007/08/12/lesson-165-hadeeth-639/) . The wording in the hadeeth is that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) sat down; this actually means that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was seated in mourning and people came to visit him and offer their condolences. He had lost his cousin, adopted son, and also a companion who was close to him as well as being his poet.

When the incident mentioned in this hadeeth took place, Aisha (رضى الله عنها) said ‘May Allah rub your nose in the dust’. She muttered these words under her mouth to the man mentioned in the hadeeth. The women in the household of Jafar (رضى الله عنه) were weeping excessively and there was a danger that they would start to wail. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) told the man who informed him of this to go and prevent them. The man came back and said that the women were not listening to him. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) told him to go back again. He came back again. The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) then said to him ‘Throw dust in their mouths’. By this the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is implying to the man that he will be unable to stop them weeping excessively as this was a time of great calamity. The women were weeping excessively but they were not doing anything haraam. This is why Aisha (رضى الله عنها) added her comment as the man was unable to prevent the women from weeping but he still kept coming and bothering and disturbing the Prophet.

Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haq mentioned that the lesson to be learnt from this hadeeth is that one should not hurt someone repeatedly when talking to them about something when nothing practical cane be done about it e.g. if someone says kind words to the ill person, it will be pleasing to the ill person and make them feel better even though words will not change the Qadr of Allah. On the contrary, we shouldn’t start asking details about the person’s illness as is commonly the practice… ‘Tell me about the operation’ etc. Similarly, when someone dies, you should not go and start asking how the person died.

The Shaykh also added that it takes two people to hurt you – your enemy to slander you, and your friend to then convey that slander to you.

باب: مَن لَم يُظهِر حُزنَهُ عِندَ المُصيبَة

CHAPTER 22. Whoever shows no signs of grief or sorrow on the falling of a calamity.

661. عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: مات ابْنٌ لأَبِي طَلْحَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ وَأَبُو طَلْحَةَ خارِجٌ, فَلَمّا رَأَتِ امْرَأَتُهُ أَنّهُ قَدْ مَاتَ, هَيّأَتْ شَيْئًا, وَنَحّتْهُ فِي جانِبِ الْبَيْتِ, فَلَمّا جَاءَ أَبُو طَلْحةَ قَالَ: كَيْفَ الْغُلاَمُ قَالَتْ: قَدْ هَدَأَتْ نَفْسُهُ, وَأَرْجُو أَنْ يَكُونَ قَدِ اسْتَرَاحَ. فَبَاتَ, فَلَمّا أَصْبَحَ اغْتَسَلَ, فَلَمّا أَرَادَ أَنْ يَخْرُجَ أَعْلَمَتْهُ أَنّهُ قَدْ مَاتَ, فَصَلّى مَعَ النّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وسلم, ثُمّ أَخْبَرَهُ بِمَا كانَ مِنْهُمَا, فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم: (لَعَلّ اللهَ أَنْ يُبَارِكَ لَكُمَا فِي لَيْلَتِكُمَا).

قَالَ رَجُلٌ مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ: فَرَأَيْتُ لَهُمَا تِسْعَةَ أَوْلاَدٍ, كُلّهُمْ قَدْ قَرَأَ الْقُرْاَنَ. رواه البخاري: 1301

661. Narrated Anas (bin Mâlik) رضى الله عنه : One of the sons of Abu Talha became (sick) and died and Abu Talha at that time was not at home. When his wife saw that he was dead, she prepared him (washed and shrouded him) and placed him somewhere in the house. When Abu Talha came, he asked, How is the boy? She said, The child is quiet and I hope he is in peace. (Abu Talha) passed the night and in the morning took a bath and when he intended to go out, she told him that his son had died, Abu Talha offered the (morning) prayer with the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and informed the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم of what happened to them. Allâh’s Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said, May Allâh bless you both concerning your night (that is, may Allâh bless you both with good offspring). (Sufyân said) A man from the Ansâr said, They (i.e. Abu Talha and his wife) had nine sons and all of them became reciters of the Qur’ân (by heart). (2:388O.B.)

Hadeeth 661 – Abu Talha (رضى الله عنه) was fasting and he was visiting the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Abu Talha (رضى الله عنه) would fast all the time. He was the step-father of the narrator of this hadeeth, Anas ibn Malik (رضى الله عنه).

Umm Sulaim (رضى الله عنها) was the wife of Abu Talha (رضى الله عنه). One of their children was ill and the child passed away. She bathed the child and placed him at the side of their home. She told Anas (رضى الله عنه) to call her father but not to tell him. She prepared food for his iftar and then adorned herself and enquired ‘Do you have any need for me?’. They cohabited and spent the night together. Before he was about to leave the house for Fajr salah, she said to him that imagine if someone gave an item of trust to another to look after, but afterwards refused to give it back, would that be correct? Abu Talha (رضى الله عنه) replied by saying to her ‘Of course not’. She then said to Abu Talha (رضى الله عنه) ‘Then pray to Allah about your son’. Abu Talha (رضى الله عنه) became angry and said that she allowed him to reach a state of major impurity before telling him (although he had performed ghusl when she informed him). He went angrily to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and told him the whole incident after Fajr salah.

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) did not disapprove of Umm Sulaim’s (رضى الله عنها) actions but prayed for them and said to him that Allah will bless your union (of that night). They had a child whom the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) named Abdullah. Abdullah had nine sons and four daughters - all of his nine sons were scholars. One of them was the teacher of Imam Malik (رحمة الله عليه).

With this chapter heading, Imam Bukhari (رحمة الله عليه) is trying to tell us that one should have a moderate approach to mourning.

Umm Sulaim (رضى الله عنها) was a woman of great willpower, resilience and courage. He husband was first Malik (the father of Anas (رضى الله عنه)) before Islam. She embraced Islam before her husband. When she told her husband that she had embraced Islam, he began abusing her and refused to embrace. She told her son, Anas, to say the kalimah and he embraced Islam although Malik said to her ‘Don’t spoil my son’. Malik left his home in anger and was killed in a fight. Abu Talha (رضى الله عنه) later proposed to Umm Sulaim (رضى الله عنها) – he was a nobleman and very wealthy but she said she didn’t want any money but wanted him to embrace Islam. She asked that her dowry would be that he embraces Islam rather than money.

It is reported that Abu Talha (رضى الله عنه) would fast every day, except on the days of Eid. Abu Talha (رضى الله عنه) passed away on a ship and those with him didn’t want to bury him in the sea. For six days as they sailed towards land, his body remained fresh.

'Weak' Hadeeth

Assalamu alaikum, below are the first part of my notes for Lesson 172 from the Book of Funerals
(al Tajrid al Sarih, The Abridged Saheeh al-Bukhari). Hadeeth 656-658 were covered in this lesson which was delivered on on Friday 9th November 2007. Notes for Hadeeth 656 and 657 are below. Full lesson in MP3 format on the Al Kawthar podcast. Below you will also find a 10 minute video clip from this lesson.

باب: مَا يُكْرَهُ مِنَ النّيَاحَةِ عَلَى المَيّت

Chapter 17 - What (sort of) wailing over a deceased is disliked

Traditionally in Arab society at the time of news of bereavement, women would often wail, weep, pull their hair and physically harm themselves. These are all considered ‘wailing’ for the purpose of simplicity.

As discussed in the last dars, mourning and weeping is permissible. however, the type of mourning and wailing described above is forbidden.

656. عَنِ المُغِيرَةِ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ النّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ: (إِنّ كَذِبًا عَلَيّ لَيْسَ كَكَذِبٍ عَلَى أَحَدٍ, مَنْ كَذَبَ عَلَيّ مُتَعَمّدًا فَلْيَتَبَوّأْ مَقْعَدَهُ مِنَ النّارِ).

656. Narrated Al Mughira رضى الله عنه : I heard the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم saying, Ascribing false things to me is not like ascribing false things to anyone else. Whosoever tells a lie against me intentionally then surely let him occupy his seat in Hellfire. Al Mughira added that he heard the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم saying, The deceased who is wailed over is tortured for that wailing. (2:378O.B.)

Al Mughira narrates two separate hadeeth in this instance. The first part refers to lying about the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) where the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says lying about him is not like lying about anyone else. Although lying is haraam anyway e.g. claiming someone said something when they did not is haraam and is applicable for anyone and about anyone. This sentence in the hadeeth does not mean that lying about or to anyone other than the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is tolerable. However, lying about the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is of a much greater degree of seriousness and hence the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says that if someone lies about the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) then he should take his seat in the fire of hell. That is a warning and a threat to that individual.

If we claim that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said something and we know for certain that he didn’t or we have no knowledge that he did say such a statement, then this is haraam and of grave seriousness. Similarly, if we deny a hadeeth – we are rejecting a statement of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and this is also a grave sin. Many people agree that ascribing a false hadeeth to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is a grave sin, but at the same time denying a hadeeth is not thought to be a serious and grave sin.

The Shaykh narrated an incident of an Imam who narrated a du’a from the hadeeth as part of his Arabic khutbah and was accused of lying against the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) – the du’a included the words “Oh Allah, allow me to live as a misqeen and die as a misqeen, and raise me amongst the misqeen on the Day of Judgement”. Some people that were incensed by hearing this hadeeth were not scholars but were extremely angered and said ‘How can the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) have said that may Allah allow me to live and die as a poor person?”. The Shaykh mentioned that this is an authentic and saheeh hadeeth. The word ‘misqeen’ in this context doesn’t mean ‘poor’ in terms of wealth. Misqeen also means humble. This is the meaning of this particular hadeeth. Hence, one should be very careful before rejecting hadeeth. Just because certain ahadeeth and not to our liking or we feel uncomfortable with them, we shouldn’t simply reject them. People are very careful with verses of the Holy Qur’an but this is not the case with hadeeth. Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haq said that a famous Arabic word that many non-Arabs know as well is ‘daeef’ i.e. weak and therefore any hadeeth that people do not like are instantly labelled as being daeef or fabricated.

Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (رحمة الله عليه) has 27,000 hadeeth in his musnad whereas most of the other books have 3000 to 5000 hadeeth on average, and it is said about him that he had memorised one million hadeeth. By one million, it is meant the same hadeeth with different narrators. On one occasion, there was someone reciting Qur’an at a graveyard. Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (رحمة الله عليه) asked people to prevent him. Someone said to the Imam ‘What do you say about such and such a narrator?’ The Imam gave his approval. The person mentioned a few other narrators. Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (رحمة الله عليه) gave his approval to all these narrators and then the person narrated a hadeeth from these narrators which allowed a person to recite at the grave. SubhanAllah. Imam Ahmad ibn Hanbal (رحمة الله عليه) had not heard that hadeeth. Thus, the Shaykh stressed that we need to be very careful before rejecting a hadeeth just because it challenges our thoughts, beliefs or prejudices.

The Shaykh also gave an example of someone attributing something to the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) which was false. A female novelist wrote an explicit novel and many people complained about it becomes it was considered to unbefitting a Muslim author. She was interviewed by a journalist and responded by saying ‘Why is there such reticence in the Muslim community? Look at Aisha – she was so explicit in her own speech. If Aisha can be so explicit and she was the mother of the believers then why can no else?’ She said ‘We should follow in the footsteps of Aisha about whom the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said take half of your knowledge from Aisha’. The journalist questioned whether this was a hadeeth. She claimed that the hadeeth was in Bukhari and Muslim and that just because men did not like certain hadeeth they denied them. Such a hadeeth is not in Bukhari or Muslim.

Both of these instances can be considered lying about the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم).

At the end of the lesson, Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haq expanded on the meaning of a 'weak' hadeeth. Below is a video clip of this part of the dars:

The second part of the hadeeth was discussed in the last lesson – a person is only sinful if they gave instruction to people to wail after they passed away. When people ascribe statements to deceased which are untrue are also haraam e.g. when it is said ‘He was so brave’ etc even though it was known to be untrue.

باب: لَيْسَ مِنّا مَنْ ضَرَب الخُدُود

CHAPTER 18. 'He is not one of us who slaps his cheeks'

657. عَنْ عَبْدِ اللهِ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ النّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وسلم: (لَيْسَ مِنّا مَنْ لَطَمَ الخُدُودَ, وَشَقّ الجُيُوبَ, وَدَعا بِدَعْوَى الجَاهِلِيّةِ). رواه البخاري: 1294

657. Narrated 'Abdullâh رضى الله عنه : The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, He who slaps his cheeks, tears his clothes and calls to or follows the ways and traditions of the Days of Ignorance, is not from us. (2:382O.B.)

Arab women would slap their cheeks and tear their clothes from the top (near the collar) as part of their mourning and wailing. Also, they would scream and wail and say things that resembled things of jahiliya. The Prophet condemns all three things – they are all part of wailing which is haraam.

A Woman mourning the death of her Husband

Assalamu alaikum, below are notes from the next hadeeth - Hadeeth 650 from Lesson 170 which was delivered on Friday 26th October 2007 by Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haq.

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باب: إِحداد المرَأَةِ عَلَى غَيْرِ زَوجِهَا

Chapter 14 - Chapter of a woman’s mourning someone other then her husband

650. عَنْ أُمَ حَبِيبَةَ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا زَوْجِ النّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وسلم, قَالَتْ: سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم يَقُولُ: (لاَ يَحِلّ لاِمْرَأَةٍ تُؤْمِنُ بِاللهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الاَخِرِ, تُحِدّ عَلَى مَيّتٍ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثٍ, إِلاّ عَلَى زَوْجٍ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا). رواه البخاري: 1281

650. Narrated Umm Habiba رضى الله عنها , wife of the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم : I heard the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم saying: It is not legal for a woman who believes in Allâh and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days for any dead person except her husband, for whom she should mourn for four months and ten days. (2:370O.B.)

This hadeeth is related by Umm Habibah (رضى الله عنها) whose real name was Ramlah (meaning beautiful). She was the wife of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم), and the daughter of Abu Sufyan ( (رضى الله عنه. She has only related 4 hadeeth from Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم). This dispels the idea that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) married again and again only to educate the ummah. Umm Habibah (رضى الله عنه) actually relates some hadeeth from other wives but the ones she heard directly from the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) are four in number and this is one of them.

There is a longer narration of this hadeeth related in Bukhari itself.

Three days after the news arrived of the death of Umm Habibah’s (رضى الله عنها) father, Abu Sufyan ((رضى الله عنه) she asked for some yellow paste/power, called sufrah, which also had a fragrance. Safrah is similar to henna. She applied this to her arms and her legs to adorn herself. Umm Habibah ( (رضى الله عنها said that she did not have any need to adorn herself but she was simply doing this because she had heard the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) say that it is not permissible for any woman who believes in Allah and in the final day to mourn anyone for more then three days other then her husband whom she should mourn for a total of three months and ten days.

There are two things to note; itida’ad – to wait i.e. to observe the iddah – the waiting period and ehdad – to mourn. These are two separate issues.

Rulings:

When a woman is divorced with one talaq which is revocable, all the ulema agree that she will observe the iddah i.e. wait but not be in mourning. Her iddah begins but she doesn’t have to mourn (idea of mourning – shun adornment, beautiful clothes etc.) Similarly, for two revocable divorces, where there is the possibility of her husband taking her back there will be a waiting period but no mourning, therefore, she can adorn herself and all the ulema say she should behave normally so that there is some hope of reconciliation.

According to Imam Shafi (رحمة الله عليه), however, it is desirable for her to actually mourn as well if she feels there is no hope of reconciliation. Just like death is a thing of sorrow and concern and a great loss, similarly when a marriage comes to an end it is a great loss according to the shari’ah, for everyone. Marriage is a great blessing; it prevents one from committing sins, gives one solace, comfort, and security. Thus, when a marriage comes to an end, then the Shari’ah stipulates that you should wait and then, if it is irrevocable, mourn.

If there is an irrevocable divorce, whether one or two, or three and no possibility of taking her back then there is waiting and no mourning according to Shafi, Maliki or Hanbali schools of fiqh. According to Hanafi fiqh, there is the iddah and mourning, and, in fact, mourning is wajib. It is not just a case of waiting - she should also be mourning. This means there should be no adornment, fragrance, leaving home, nor wearing beautiful clothes and makeup – all these rules apply.

If her husband dies then according to all the schools of fiqh, there is waiting and mourning – four months and ten days – so all the rules mentioned above apply. If someone else dies, other then her husband, it’s not permissible to mourn for more then three days. This shows how great a position and responsibility Allah has placed upon a woman in marriage in terms of respect. It shows the position of her husband.

The Shaykh highlighted that mourning in this context does not mean the sorrow of the heart – one has no control over that. Mourning means in terms of adornment.

The Arab women observed mourning for a whole year if their husband dies – this is mentioned in the Qur’an. Then another verse was revealed which abrogated this verse and Allah reduced the length of time.

The Shaykh also mentioned that if a man is married to a woman of the ahle kitab i.e. a Christian or a Jew then she must observe the iddah according to all the schools of fiqh if he dies. According to the Maliki, Hanbali and Shafi schools of fiqh, she has to mourn as well but according to the Hanafi school of fiqh she does not have to mourn.