The following notes are from Lesson 166 of the Book of Funerals of al Tajrid al Sarih which was delivered by Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haq on 17th August 2007 at Al Kawthar Academy, Leicester.
باب: فَضْلُ مَن مَاتَ لَهُ وَلَدٌ فَاحتَسَب
Ch. 5 - Chapter of the virtue of one whose child dies and then he is patient.
In Tajrid al Sarih this chapter heading is incomplete. Shaykh Abu Yusuf Riyadh ul Haq stated that the complete chapter heading is ‘chapter of the virtue of one whose child dies and then he is patient and chapter on the words of Allah hoping for reward from Allah’.
Imam Bukhari (رحمة الله عليه) mentions the beginning of a verse of a Quran in this chapter heading
640. Narrated Anas رضى الله عنه : The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, A Muslim whose three children die before the age of puberty will be granted Paradise by Allâh due to His Mercy for them. (2:340O.B.)
640. وعَنْه رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: قَالَ النّبِيّ صلى الله عليه وسلم: (ما مِنَ النّاسِ مِنْ مُسْلِمٍ, يُتَوَفّى لَهُ ثَلاثٌ لَمْ يَبْلُغُوا الْحِنْثَ, إِلاّ أَدْخَلَهُ اللهُ الجَنّةَ, بِفَضْلِ رَحْمَتِهِ إِيّاهُمْ). رواه البخاري: 1248
In this hadeeth, the word Ehtisaab is mentioned which means believing in and hoping for a reward from Allah. This specific word is also mentioned in many other ahadeeth. For example in a hadeeth about Ramadhan – whoever does qiyam in Ramadhan with imaan in ehtisaab all of his past sins will be forgiven. Ehtisaab means that you do something with a specific intention and with imaan in reward from Allah. We often misunderstand sabr. Sabr refers to patience and perseverance, exercising restraint as well as remaining steadfast. Ones inability to do something about bereavement is not patience. So what is patience? Once a woman was at the grave of a child (this is a hadeeth of Bukhari) Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم) told her to be patient as she was weeping and she replied ‘away with you for you are not the one facing the grief’. When she was told afterwards that, that was Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم) she went to him. Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said patience is at the time of the initial shock. Wailing, weeping, abuse, apathy are all incorrect responses and the person that’s failed the test of patience. One should trust in Allah and accept that this is the Qadr of Allah and say Ina lillah we ina ilyhe rajoon, the person has died and belongs to Allah. Allah says in the Qur’an that one should seek Allah’s assistance through patience and prayer-this is true sabr.
Hadeeth 640 – This hadeeth has been narrated by many, many companions. In one narration four children are mentioned. The chapter heading says ‘child’ but the hadeeth says three children. In addition, one may note that nothing of patience is mentioned in the hadeeth, but Imam Bukhari (رحمة الله عليه) has other narrations of this hadeeth, for example there is a narration that a sahabi said ‘I lost two children and Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said even two and even one. So even if a Muslim loses one child before the age of puberty Allah will grant paradise on the condition that the person is patient. It is graphically mentioned in the hadeeth that these children that die before the age of puberty run around opening any doors of Jannah for their parents. Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم) lost all of his children except Fatimah (رضى الله عنها), his (صلى الله عليه وسلم) life was full of test after test; Qasim (رضى الله عنه), Abdullah (رضى الله عنه) and Ibrahim (رضى الله عنه) died in childhood, Zainab (رضى الله عنها), Ruqaiyah (رضى الله عنها) and Umm Kulthum (رضى الله عنها) all grew up, married and then died in the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) life time. Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم) was not an emperor or a king, he (صلى الله عليه وسلم) did not come to establish a kingdom, so all of his male children died in childhood - they were destined to die. It is important to realise that one cannot assume a person has been guaranteed Jannah after the death of a child because there are conditions e.g. the shari’ah cannot be contravened.
Finally, one should also note that a child in general can gain reward for doing something good, but cannot be held accountable for example, for missing salah, due to a young age or immaturity.
Ch. 6 - Chapter of that which is desirable of the bathing an odd number of times
باب: ما يُسْتَحَبّ أَنْ يُغسَلَ وِتْرًا
641. Narrated Umm 'AtIyya رضى الله عنها : Allâh's Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم came to us when his daughter died and said, Wash her three, five or more times with water and Sidr (Nibk lotetree leaves) if you think it is required and sprinkle camphor or something of it on her at the end; and when you finish, notify me. So when we finished, we informed him and he gave us his waistsheet and told us to shroud her in it. (2:345O.B.)
641. عَنْ أُمّ عَطِيّةَ الأَنْصَارِيّةِ رَضِيَ اللهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ: دَخَلَ عَلَيْنَا رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم, حِينَ تُوَفّيَتِ ابْنَتُهُ, فَقَالَ: (اغْسِلْنَهَا ثَلاَثًا, أَوْ خَمْسًا, أَوْ أَكْثَرَ مِنْ ذلِكَ إِنْ رَأَيْتُنّ ذلِكَ, بِمَاءٍ وَسِدْرٍ, وَاجْعَلْنَ في الاَخِرَةِ كافُورًا, أَوْ شَيْئًا مِنْ كافُورٍ, فَإِذَا فَرَغْتُنّ فاَذِنّنِي). فَلَمّا فَرَغْنَا اَذَنّاهُ, فَأَعْطَانَا حِقْوَهُ, فَقَالَ: (أَشْعِرْنَهَا إِيّاهُ). تَعْنِي إِزَارَهُ. رواه البخاري: 1253
This chapter is related to given ghusl to the deceased.
Hadeeth 641 is narrated by Ume Atiya who was a sahabiyat who would bathe the deceased. She bathed both daughters of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) and this hadeeth referred to the bathing of Zainab who died in the 8th year of Hijrah. Those present were close family members and also those who were close to Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم) gave certain instructions. He (صلى الله عليه وسلم) told them to bathe her 3 times or 5 times or more than this if they thought it was required. He (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said she should be bathed with water and lote tree leaves (Jerusalem Tree, which is similar to Buckthorn which is found in Europe). They would infuse the water with these leaves. For the final bathing Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said Camphor should be added. When they had finished, Rasul (صلى الله عليه وسلم) gave them is lower cloth because this contained barakah.
There is a Hadeeth of Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) where he says we should excessively remember the terminator of all pleasures. This is why we are instructed to visit graves and remember death, because death is something that awaits every one of us. The believers have been instructed to take part in funerals for which there is a special reward. Funerals also remind us of death, and when a Muslim dies, his or her bathing the shroud, preparation and prayer are an obligation upon all Muslims. If these things are not done, all Muslims of that area are sinful. The deceased has a right over all of them.
Some Sahabah would leave a will that such and such a person should bathe me. Bathing a dead body will remind us all of a relative life. When Adam (عليه السلام ) passed away the angels bathed and shrouded him in the same manner.
The Ulema say that the first bathing is fard, the second and third are Sunnah. However, one shouldn’t stop at one, they should give 3, 5 or more (7). The most that has been narrated in the Hadeeth is 7. For this reason, one does not need to stick to an odd number after 7. For example if the body is clean at 8 one should stop at 8. According to Imam Shafi (رحمة الله عليه) and Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal (رحمة الله عليه) the bath should only be given using cold water. According to these Ulema hot water should only be used with necessity. However, Imam Malik (رحمة الله عليه) and Imam Abu Hanifa (رحمة الله عليه) say that one should only use hot water. The lote tree leaves should be boiled in water.
Ch. 7 – The bathing should be started with the right hand side limbs.
باب: يُبدَأ بِمَيَامِنِ المَيّت
642. Narrated (Umm 'AtIyya رضى الله عنها ) : Allâh's Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم , concerning his (dead) daughter's bath, said, Start with the right side, and the parts which are washed in ablution. She added we combed her (hair) and (divided them) in three braids. (2:346O.B.)
642. وَفِي رواية أخرى أَنّهُ قَالَ: (ابْدَأْنَ بِمَيَامِنِهَا وَمَوَاضِعِ الْوُضُوءِ مِنْهَا). قَالَتْ: وَمَشَطْنَاهَا ثَلاَثَةَ قُرُونٍ. رواه البخاري: 1254
Hadeeth 642 - This hadeeth of Umm Atiya is the most authentic about bathing the deceased. One should begin with the right side and the limbs of wudhu. The deceased should be prepared very carefully. The Maliki and Shafi Ulema say water should be poured into the nose and mouth, however, the Hanbali and Hanfi Ulema say that complete wudhu should be given, except no water is poured into the nose or mouth.
